Many of us don’t know how it feels to live closed in by impenetrable walls and governed by an occupying force that provides no answers, transparency, reasoning or humans to answer basic questions about how ‘the regime’ works.

Yet for many of us in the ‘free West,’ our relationship with Facebook – even, or maybe particularly, as paying advertisers – gives us an important glimpse into what living in an occupied territory might actually be like. Thankfully, Facebook isn’t an actual place we can’t physically leave, but a lot of us who work on the platform are ‘stuck there.’ Running a business without a Facebook Page in 2018 is kind of like not being in the phone book in 1982. You just don’t do it.

Which makes the following link, dug up in a rare Facebook forum that provided a path to a solution to a problem, pure gold.

If you are having billing issues with Facebook, like you bid $10 per 1000 impressions and they charged you $15.86 per 1000 impressions, for example, here is the link that will begin a support ticket:

If you are one of the blessed, 10 days later a resolution will come to pass and Facebook will issue some kind of response or correction from a human, the only entity qualified to respond to 99% of problems created by Facebook, and available to respond to <1% of the problems created by Facebook.

And you can view all your Support Tickets with this link:

Bookmark these links now, because you will never find them again.

If you are one of the condemned, Facebook will reply in 14 days to your Support Ticket with answers to questions you never asked, informing you that your “Issue has been resolved, and your ticket is closed.” In that case you will need to use the link above and create another Support Ticket and add 10 extra minutes of meditation to your daily routine in order to process your relationship with the occupying force in a healthy manner.

You know your mission is difficult, nearly impossible. Take this link and my best wishes for your success in achieving the impossible, against all odds: Getting a human at Facebook to reply to a problem created by Facebook.

UPDATE 2/14, DAY 10
Please note: Do not expect Support personnel to have access to information from your Support Request, because that would be too obvious.

Your an adventurer, an optimist, a trailblazer. That’s why you chose the mission of getting a human to respond a Facebook failure in the first place. This is not for those who can’t improvise or have heart conditions. But a heads up from a friendly guide can help.

I got an email from “Sherri” at Facebook in response to my support request, six days after it posted. She’s been diligently working on my case, now going on 10 days total, for about 5 days. Like a digital assistant asking you 3x as many questions as it answers, she’s been asking for data I provided, in completion, from the original ticket.

What I didn’t expect is for Sherri to literally send me emails showing she does not know the difference between a Bid for Impressions and a Campaign Budget. Also, after complying with her request to dig up Campaign ID numbers for the 3 campaigns I was overcharged for, she clearly had no idea how to access any of the key information from any of the campaigns.

She continued to send me requests via ‘a new email thread every time’ for clarification of information I provided, in detail, with screenshots, in my very first Support Request 10 days ago. And then supplied again, in full, when the requisite initial “Response to Anything But The Question I Asked” was posted in Facebook’s original reply to my Support Request.

Which is to say, the Support Request link is in no way a guarantee of success, or even of information being conveyed to the person who inherits your Facebook query. But the Support Request does raise your probability of getting a response from a human from -90% to upwards of 15%.

My business with Sherri is still pending. I assume she’s working from a smartphone in Sudan. If you’re lucky, perhaps your Facebook Ad rep will be working from a laptop in a building.


Facebook: The most puzzling cube puzzle of them all.
Facebook: The most puzzling puzzle cube of them all.   But. Looks. So. Simple.

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